LOOK LIKE YOU LIFT -CHAOS METHOD training for novices and beginners.
So-called beginner training fails because it fails to account for WHY people want to begin progressive resistance training to start with.
The Rippetoes of the world, beyond transforming themselves into hucksters, and shills for a product, rather than advocates of proven training principles, are first and foremost ideologues of a certain idea of what progressive resistance training should be. Considering Rippetoe’s friendliness and affinity towards the supposed “Art of Manliness” and the now-famous preamble to Starting Strength, Starting Strength and the gospel it promotes, places more primacy on the idea of lifting weights rather than lifting weights itself. You want to be strong because being strong is good and functional. And being functional is good. Man shit. Strength is idealized over aesthetics because strength matters more. You want “raw strength” because they’re trying to orient your energy towards a pursuit of strength in itself (specifically in their 4 lifts) as an ends to a means. All this is, beyond all the rejection of “fluff and pump training” (whatever that is), and of ‘functional training’ equally, is a flabby ideology promoted by flabby coaches to create flabby, under-trained athletes.
Starting Strength itself and those possessing those mighty-expensive Starting Strength certifications put forth the idea of this monk-like strength samurai only dedicated to putting on his five pounds every week, drinking his milk, and getting as fat as he wants as long as he’s “strong,” much to the chagrin of imaginary gym bros in awe of his fucked up looking, bent over 405 lb squat and gargantuan, overdeveloped ass.
But why kid ourselves?
We all started this because we wanted to be fucking huge. End of story. You can dress it up however much you like, but I’ve caught even the most dedicated 5x5 soldier in my gym sneakily hitting a side tricep in the gym mirror after doing his arched-to-shit hip-driven overhead press 5x5. We all want to be strong and look like it. Not to be kind of strong, and have the physique of Kevin Smith.
To set the record straight, I’m going to elucidate a couple of the fallacies of “Beginner Training:”
1. “BEGINNERS SHOULDN’T DO ISOLATION EXERCISES”
This is the easiest fallacy to debunk because the logic falls through when you realize that to get big biceps, you probably need to know a. where your biceps are, and b. what it feels like. Biceps are a great point to use when debunking the neverending gospel of “Stick to compound exercises.”
Consider the number-one bicep builder of most beginner training programs: the bent-over row, or the chin-up. BOTH of these are primarily back exercises, and the logic follows that they are back exercises, but also have radiating effects on the biceps because it’s a pulling motion. However, if you consider this for more than 10 seconds before accepting it as truth, you realize it’s total bunk: if it’s that good of a back exercise, why are you feeling it in your biceps, and if it’s that good of a bicep exercise, why are you feeling it in your back? If you’re feeling a bent-over row in your biceps, there is an absolute one-hundred percent chance your bent-over row looks like absolute dogshit.
I’m not saying any of this to discount the primacy of compound, strength-based exercises in ANY beginner program. For a beginner to begin getting big in any real sense, they NEED the big movements, or they’re going to look exactly like the legion of accountants supersetting 15 lb dumbbell curls with unnecessarily loud business calls that you inevitably see in every gym in the United States. What I am saying, however, is that you shouldn’t lie about what a compound movement actually does. An overhead press is a shoulder exercise that will build your yoke as good as any movement ever could, but it isn’t a core exercise that doubles as an arm exercise that doubles as a chest exercise that doubles as a hip exercise that doubles as a shoulder exercise. Again, this dogma falls back into line with most beginner training being about the marketing of results more than the actual results. People without any background in training will surely think that a TOTAL BODY EXERCISE that includes CORE STRENGTH (whatever the fuck that actually means) will get them bigger and stronger than a wimpy bro exercise that will only target one measly muscle. The reality is: some muscles are small and you need to actually train them to make them big.
2. “THE NOVICE EFFECT” or “less is better.”
This principle, which is the foundation of most beginner 5x5 programs, is the easiest one you can reject by just looking at the lifts and physiques these programs create. Proponents of minimalist beginner training claim that the simpler a beginner training program is, the easier it is to progress, and the more tools you have in the toolbox to pull out when the trainee stop getting “noob gains” or the “novice effect.” However, the reverse is also true. Minimal effective dose training gets you the minimum expected amount of results, and gives you discouraged people who train for months only to look at the mirror at unreduced flab and an okay squat.
What is actually being done here is doing the absolute reverse of taking advantage of the novice effect. IF you concede that the first six months of a person’s training history is where they make the most of their tissue and strength gains, why doesn’t it follow that this is where it’s of prime importance that you teach the person how to train maximally when nature’s gravy train starts drying up. What you’re doing, in effect, is putting a person on an incredibly effective performance-enhancing drug, and then just having them sit on the couch for 4 days in between doing one submaximal set of deadlifts. I, instead, propose that we take what nature has given us in these first six months, and wring out as much as possible from this process. You should leave the novice stage of your training completely and fundamentally changed, both physically and neurologically.
THE PROGRAM: FOUNDATIONAL PRINCIPLES
Diet-training synchronization:
In order to get the kind of maximization of results that we were talking about in the above section, complete adherence to a complete, performance-oriented diet is needed. What I have seen work in myself, and my novice trainees, is adhering to a carb cycling approach lined up completely with your training schedule. For a simple explanation of the mechanics of carb cycling diets, please refer to the following resource:
https://www.t-nation.com/lean-built-eating/carb-cycling-for-idiots/
THE PLAN:
DAY 1
MEDIUM CARB DAY
CHEST/SHOULDERS/TRICEPS
DAY 2
LOW CARB DAY
NO WEIGHT TRAINING — CARDIO FOR 30+ MINUTES
DAY 3
MEDIUM CARB DAY
BACK/BICEPS/NECK/TRAPS
DAY 4
LOW CARB DAY —
NO WEIGHT TRAINING — CARDIO FOR 30+ minutes
DAY 5
HIGH CARB DAY
LEGS
DAY 6
MEDIUM CARB DAY
NO WEIGHT TRAINING — CARDIO FOR 30+ minutes
Low-frequency, high volume, high intensity training:
As the above split would indicate, you’re going to be training with weights only 3 of every 6 days, however, each one of these training sessions will include incredibly challenging sets that will tax a beginner’s already-limited recovery ability with fatigue. In order to combat this, you’re training less, and doing cardio on your off days in order to build work capacity and come in on your next actual training day and annihilate yourself.
ENOUGH TALKING — THE ACTUAL PROGRAM
WHAT THINGS MEAN
Rep ranges: When I indicate from x-yreps, I want you to use a weight that you can for sure get x with but maybe not get y with, but get as close to y as you can.
Superset: exercises directly paired. No rest period between them.
DAY 1: Chest/Shoulders/Triceps
Bench Press: Work up to one very hard set of 5 reps, then drop down to 80% of that weight, and do 4 sets of 10 reps.
Dumbbell Military Press: 3 sets of 10–12 reps.
Superset with:
Dumbbell Lateral Raises: 3 sets of 12–15 reps (please use a lower weight than your shoulder presses)
Skullcrushers: 4 sets of 8–10
Cable stack triceps pushdown: 4 sets of 12–15
DAY 2: Back/Biceps
Barbell deadlift: Work up to one challenging set of 4–6, and then drop down to one challenging set of 8–10 (this will usually mean a 20–25% drop in weight)
Dumbbell row: Work up to three challenging sets of 8–10
Superset with
Dumbbell rear delt raises: Use a challenging weight for 3 sets of 20
Lat pulldown: 4 sets of 12–15
Dumbbell bicep curls: 4 sets of 15–20
NECK CIRCUIT ON THE FLOOR ON YOUR BACK — 4 Rounds 2 mins between rounds
1.Neck static hold in extension — imagine you’re like sticking your chin out towards the ceiling and hold it there for 30 seconds
2. Flex neck from side to side 45 seconds — go sloooow
3. Chin to tshirt — 30 seconds
DAY 3: LEGS
Prone leg curls: work up to 4 challenging sets of 12–15
SQUAT: Work up to one challenging set of 5, drop ~20% and do a challenging set of 10, drop a little more weight and do a very challenging set of 20
Heels elevated goblet squat or hack squat machine depending on machine availability: 4 sets of 12–15 — as low a descent here as possible, make sure your torso is upright as possible.
Leg extensions: 4 sets of 12–15
Stiff legged deadlifts/Romanian Deadlifts — replace with seated leg curls if you cannot do a picture-perfect RDL: 4 sets of 15–20 — can be done either with a barbell or a dumbbell.
